Heartfelt Privation

It’s been a while since I’ve felt this dead
Eyes of glass and an anvil for a heart
The Ohio gloom is extra crushing today
The weight could separate my shoulders
My limbs grow dispositioned and splinter
Razor blades and rust litter the stark concrete
As my shoes paint temporary portraits
That linger atop the rain soaked parking lot
Yesterday was ambitious until this set in
What will occupy the space you held in my head
Memories of times I thought were terrible?
Memories of all the times you smiled
Or laughed?
Your eyes, or touch.
You’re gone now as I am from you
But were we ever really together
Or always separate?
Existing as two unique shades of grey
Juxtaposed with razor cut precision
Against a sea of celestial light
A serendipitous devotion
To all that we could never embrace
The shades have lost their depth
The greys have turned blue
In the shallows of our dissolution
The clouds roar like waves
Crashing against the coast line
Drowning me in my own self loathing
A forlorn attempt at attaining self structure
As the rains carry me further from you
Swept ashore like a paper boat
Caving under the weight of the storm
Waterlogged and dilapidated
I press onwards, mizzen and mast
Facing the spinning beacon
Hoping it’ll take me home to you
Until then these footprints hold my ambition
Swelling and fading with each forward step
Viva Love!
Viva Loss!


This is goodbye.